Perception of Perfection

Distractions come in many forms on ones life journey, some are detours that can either be a complete waste of time and energy, with nothing gained, while most can be taken as part of the intricate lessons life seems to weave into almost every situation. We all learn certain things about life and about ourselves at different points in our lives, some catch on to what they need to learn from quicker than most, some of us have to repeat a lesson several times before we finally get the point.

If ones life has never been riddled with mistakes or what society deems as bad choices, then one has probably not passed the age of puberty or is just beginning their journey as a young adult, but I assume you are neither if you're reading this. I was taught to be a strong woman in this day and age, I must not dwell on certain situations that have felt like a sucker punch from life, and to just take it within my stride. So far, I believe I have managed to be as strong as one human could possibly be, or at least I've pretended well enough to make it seem that way. In the industry I've been blessed to be part of for the last 14 years of my adult life, one learns very quickly about what it is our job entails, and it was far from what I could have imagined when I began.

Strictly speaking, models are salespeople. Most are tall, slim, unwittingly charming and most times disarmingly beautiful human beings, that are used to sell the perception of perfection. This logic dawned on me a few years into the game, and I had embraced the difference between who I am and what it is I do for a living, and it blew my mind how simple it seemed. For some reason though, I knew very few other models that were seemingly aware of this concept, because a lot of the time I met models that absolutely lived the stereotypical model life. So as I left my teen years behind, I had to figure out how to stand my ground on this idealism that seemed foreign, because a lot was expected of me as a model, when I never saw myself as one but have always just been a girl that happens to model.

I had no idea that this train of thought would make me stick out like a sore thumb when it came down to the nitty gritty of whether or not I really wanted to become a 'supermodel'. I chose to blend to the crowd instead, and do as I'm expected when on a job, and I'm glad my agent taught me that being professional doesn't mean doing things you aren't comfortable doing. At some point in a models career, your name either becomes one that passes on clients lips with a sweet taste as they consider working with you again, because you handled yourself well, and did what was required to sell their product, or you leave a bad taste on peoples lips from behaving like a diva.

Longevity in the model biz is achieved in a few ways that include separated your 'real' life from your work life, but most importantly, not believing your own hype can keep you around for a long time. However, if pursuit of 'supermodel-dom' is on the cards for you, there is a formula that includes believing the hype, and using it for career advancement, and some have been able to successfully balance the use of their hype, while most have just irritated the heck out of their local industry. If one gets too distracted, and forgets to remove the mask one needs to keep the 'real' world and the illusion of perfection separate, you become who you pretend you are, and start to lose a sense of self without even realizing it.

Most models I know, can tell you that our lives outside a fashion show, magazine shoot, commercial or big campaign work is just as regular, stress ridden and as normal as any other human beings. In light of knowing that a lot of people seem to believe otherwise, and there are many different variations as to how models live a perfect, problem free existence, with the occasional eating disorder or drug use as the stereotype goes, it's almost safe to say, that the product has been sold...the business of selling the perception of perfection continues.

#LWYDDWYL ♥

Growing up, at some point, we're taught that life is about contributing to society in a positive manner, whether you become noted in the 'history books' as a public figure or just as a layman. For the most part we're all figuring it out as we go along, and in every humans ultimate life's goal is to live a purposeful life, well, at least for most of us. The epitome of that is managing to do so AND also loving what you do. For many, this seems to be impossible, and they end up settling for whatever line of work they qualify for after years of tertiary education, or others drift through life surviving on the minimum and seemingly content with their lives.

We're ever learning, and probably will end our days still learning new things from life and those around us, and if we can go through the ups and downs of it all without losing the natural joy we're born with, this is to me the best way to living a happy & fulfilled life.

I'm blessed to have been thrown into the deep end when it came to a career choice, because if it were up to me alone, I would have finished my matric, gotten a degree in psychology, started a practice and lived a content and 'simple' life. God had other plans for me though, and I thank my mother and little sister for pushing me in this direction, although I was reluctant to begin with, I now undoubtedly love what I do.

 The model-biz has it's down side but the majority of my 14 year experience has been filled with some amazing milestones personally and professionally. I've had the privilege to document my life in pictures taken by some well renowned South African and a few international photographers, and the memories behind each picture are priceless moments in time. Some days were difficult, but as a professional, ones personal issues should never reflect in your images, but those hard days are made easier by a compassionate and understanding crew.

For the number of times I can count of having a bad experience on a shoot, is far outweighed by the numerous times I've had the most fun working on amazing campaigns and with amazing people. Locally, we 'Amazonians' love Fashion Week season and the other fashion shows as well, just because of the environment we get to enjoy to catch up and hang out with each other as colleagues. Many true friendships have developed, many a dramatic moment has occurred backstage, and the energy remains the same, fun and a time to catch up on the latest buzz in the Model Biz.

Most of us are blessed to be in a line of occupation that we truly enjoy and love, but for most, enjoying their work environment seems impossible. I've found that not all of us may get to do what we love for a living, and that we do what needs to be done to provide a decent life for ourselves and loved ones, but I also realized that happiness should not be determined by our circumstances. True happiness comes from within, and can only be controlled by us. Know what makes you happy, and never let anyone or anything take your joy, because for the most part, joy comes from appreciating what you have, whether big or small, always be grateful for your blessings. You're blessed to even have a job, so why waste energy on slacking and complaining about how difficult your job is, when you can change your mindset positively, and enjoy a fulfilling career.

So wherever you're at in life, whatever situation you face, remember this quote; "Energy flows, where attention goes."- Somebody Smart

"As a man thinketh, so is he." So stay positive in your thinking, always search for that silver lining in your cloud, and remain ridiculously optimistic, you'd be surprised how an attitude of gratitude can get you through each day!

Love, peace and strawberry cheesecake y'all...mamabear cares, I swearz!!

Drawn toward the light that blinds...

It's the glare that makes your eyes squint slightly, as you take your first step onto the catwalk from backstage, it's just a rehearsal right, but each time you step out for your turn on the catwalk, it catches you off guard. No matter how much experience one has, the lights can still temporarily blind you and may cause you to miss a step in your stride.

It would seem that it doesn't take much in this business, to blind a person to it's oft times harsh realities, or is it a choice by the one staring into the flashlights and the spotlight, as a way to ignore them.

Others may use 'the light' as a point of focus, in order to distract themselves from the drawl and downsides of this 'hurry up and wait' cattle-call showcase. Few develop this focus early on in their professional careers, especially the full timers, and may stumble into the path of becoming what they do, slowly diving into the abyss of nothingness, as they become another carbon copy of the others.

Longevity spanning more than a decade in the model biz is a rarity, and strangely enough in our striving, impish and not very humble industry(in comparison to the overseas fashion and model biz, and the colossal supermodel salaries that side), it is achievable. The 'secret' to it is; being yourself, oddly simple right? In a job profile that requires one to put on a facade, and act(yes 'act', it's why most experienced models can easily transition into the actors fraternity without any 'training') like a person or image envisioned by a creative team.  Yes, of course you can just be you, in between shots and after the work is done.

The illusion sometimes becomes a blurred reality for the subject commissioned to portray the perception of perfection, that society so eagerly desires to achieve, which is the moment one can lose their true identity without realizing. How this happens, is when the folks you've surrounded yourself with; subconsciously or consciously, become 'yes men' as opposed to being sounding boards to check yourself, before you wreck yourself. One thing I'm grateful for, is the authentic people I can call friends and family, that keep me sane, in an otherwise crazy biz.

Opposites of one another in many ways...my truest friend, colleague & family

I think humility in our business is underrated and slightly misunderstood, and for some reason, the number of years one has earned a living in it and the caliber of work achieved, determines whether someone should be humble or not. Um, mmmkay then...*shrugs*

I admire the professional models(y'all know yourselves) that have 'accidentally' landed in this biz, and kept true to themselves. It's funny how the ones that didn't really dream or want to become a  model, admired by many, mistaken for 'unreal' by most, are the ones that have been consistently earning and working for many years. Most of us, actually happened upon the industry, as an 'easy' way to make extra money to supplement student fees, or save money to buy a little get around car, whatever the case may be, longevity and success in this fickle biz followed.

One should not take for granted, how important remaining grounded is, and developing a sort of shield against the pitfalls of losing your authenticity. We grow, change, adjust and adapt as humans, in our ever changing environments. Sometimes, one is blessed to have a number of authentic people in their immediate surroundings, that will keep you down to earth, but also have the ability to encourage you to better yourself and exceed your potential.

Taryn & I...buds4life

Appreciating the circumstances of the continually changing and sometimes volatile economy, locally & globally, our industry has made massive steps forward, and seems to have stayed on par with international standards. The more important factor, is developing and sustaining an African identity, with a light bright enough to be seen as a force to be reckoned with and a guide for not only it's inhabitants, but the rest of the world.

Ones vision can truly get blurred, as the challenges of the biz weigh you down, but thank God for the real folks in ones life, that will always help keep you focused on what's real and what's just an illusion. The perception of perfection is what our industry thrives on, and knowing that perfection is humanly impossible, I've learned that it's pursuit will lead to living a life of excellence...which is a darn near perfect a life one could live. Be excellent!

"Energy flows, where attention goes." - Unknown

Don't lose focus, keep your eyes set on your vision, although the challenges may temporarily blind you, just breathe, pray for wisdom, clarity and refocus your energies on the positive...go forth and conquer!

Peace, love and strawberry cheesecake y'all!

G-code = Loyalty??

My best mate Taryn DuPlooy and I (a.k.a. Lercano & Tarnado...our superhero names, lol :'D)

"Cliques are for kids!" Apparently, that's a statement made by an individual that for some reason, prefers being a loner, either by choice or perhaps from unpleasant experiences with being in a 'group of friends'.

What I've witnessed and have tried to understand, is this 'g-code'(guy-code/girl-code) business among men and women, and it has fascinated me how the 'rules' tend to change or can be adjusted, depending on the matter at hand.

In  the #ModelBiz loyalty and camaraderie is demonstrated in the often love/hate working relationship between a model(client) and their agent(employee). I know you probably thought I'd have said it's among the models, but sadly enough, this is not a common thing, go figure. I mean, among the different cliques/groups of friends, there is plenty of it, especially with us older and more experienced ones, but not when it comes down to who could be getting the next paying gig.

A model's loyalty to her agent, regardless of the fact that the agent is the model's employee, and not the other way around, will be tested a lot during a model's career, especially when the relationship is new. I've been with the same agent and agency since '99, and Monica Smyth is my 2nd mother, but it hasn't always been peaches and cream, but the main reason I am still one of her models, is my loyalty towards her. 

Time and time again, she has demonstrated that she has my best interest in mind and heart, and she never compromises my values or standards or a quick buck.

Many times, a disgruntled model will have something to complain about, and trust me there's plenty to complain about, the industry in South Africa has a LONG way to go before models are actually paid the respect and money we deserve, and models tend to blame their agents for things out of their control. When in truth, the blame lies with the 'middle-man' AND the models ourselves! Why we're to blame for the bad fees and often mediocre treatment is plain and simple; there is NO palpable proof of loyalty in the massive numbers of professional models in this country.

I could complain and go into detail about how some models would take a low paying job, just for the sake of working to pay the bills, but I won't, because we have to pay bills right? I could explain that another reason our industry isn't loyal to us as the ones that actually 'make' a campaign, shoot or fashion show possible, because we've allowed it to happen for not saying 'No' in ONE voice as models to the ridiculous decline in fees and oft times ill treatment on the job, but I won't.

I have asked a few men and women I know, on how the 'g-code' is applied in different situations, and I used examples that were sensible and some that were almost 'impossible' to think could be resolved without anyone ending a relationship that's business or personal, short or long-term. The main ingredient that I found played a major role in sustaining a healthy relationship between friends and partners, was loyalty. Regardless of the gain or loss to either party, it seemed that the relationship trumped any sort of animosity or resentment that could develop.

Most cliques are formed from school days, either in primary and high school or tertiary institutes, majority being the latter. For others, that were perhaps loners or outcasts in those awkward times of their lives, they developed friendships and partnerships within a group as an adult in the working environment. 'Word' has it, that it doesn't matter how long you've known a person for, but it depends on the sort of character one has, that when loyalty is tested, it will show and prove where ones trust should lay.

With all this said, there is one thing I know for certain; true loyalty is priceless, and it hardly ever seeks a public reward or acknowledgement, it's just demonstrated in or out of the presence of those one claims to be loyal to. The foundations of loyalty can however be shaken to it's core, leaving cracks that often cannot be mended.

Another thing I realized; is that trying to decipher and fully understand the 'g-code' is not entirely possible, because for different cliques, different understandings and dynamics come into play. So there isn't really a written rule-book of the 'g-code', but more and unwritten understanding between friends and/or partners, that's discussed at some point in a relationship. Some times, there is no discussion, and some rules are just 'common sense'....hehehehehe, but it's often laughable though, how common sense these days; is not as common as we would believe and how what's common for one, may not be common for another. Ah yes, the intricacies of life and human nature.

I pray that someday, that the sort of bond and immovable loyalty shown in most lifelong friendships and partnerships, does develop in the #ModelBiz. Some relationships are seasonal, and that's with most things in life, but others are for a lifetime and some, even what some consider an 'eternity'.

The entertainment industry as a whole, shows tremendous and often applaud-able cases of loyalty that has been built into formidable empires. Even the #ModelBiz internationally has produced many an empire; Tyra's, Kimora's and Heidi's to name a few, and what I've noticed as the golden thread, there are links to the entertainment industry, makes sense right. Most of the time, folks here are quick to jump at bringing down anothers attempts to build or grow in their careers, as opposed to the few that actually show support, not just in word but in action.

 Models overseas use 'technical riders' just like an artist or actor would, and I'm very sure that most models or agents here don't even know what one is.

Our industry is in denial, if we can't admit that it has become stagnant. If any of us can proudly look forward to a truly growing and thriving industry, using ONE voice to build and develop it, I'm sure once it's where it should have been at least 5 years ago, the bickering, back-stabbing and selfishness can continue in the background. Let's build it first, so there will be something to worth competing for, because right now, there is simply no serious financial gain or growth for any industry player.

Mama Bear carez, I swearz...peace, love and strawberry cheesecake y'all...MWAH! :-*